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We got to the point Where what's in our house Means more to us Than the accolades Than the titles Than the money. If I can't play more If I can't relax more If I can't nap more Because of it Then it has to go. Living radically different Than Western standards Requires us to both be on the same page. That opportunity is not for me if I miss date night. I miss a school event. I can not do school drop-off. I miss my workout class. He is too important. They are too important. I am too important. #Radical #Unapologetic #StandardOfLiving #Play #Relax #Nap #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Forever #No #CounterCulture

Been there Done that And it was a disaster But here's to another week Of doing it again Until forever #Disengaging #StepMom #BlendedFamily #BlackStepMom #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackMom #MomLife #WifeLife #2ndMarriage #Remarriage #BlackWife #BlackChristianFamily #BonusMom #OverIt #CoParenting #Disengage #BlendedFamily #StepFamilyLife #StepFamily #BlackStepMom #BlackStepFamilyLife #BlackStepFamily #ParallelParenting #Mom #BlackBonusMom #Remarriage #BlackParenting #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily

No words My husband asked if I wanted to pray I shook my head no See me and God have this secret language Called tears I didn't need to utter words Cus when I got the call I began speaking our secret language "You might want to consider a second round stims" Tears Our entire life savings went into this 1 round of stims There is no second round Tears This is our one last shot There is nothing left In so many ways Tears #BlackFertility #BlackInfertility #BlackChristianFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackStepMoms #BlackMoms #BlackBonusMom #BlackWife #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #BlackMaternalHealth #BlackHealth #TheBlackExperience #Fertility #FertilityJourney #ChristianFertility #Doctor #BlendedFamily #OursBaby #StepMom #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #InfertilityAwareness #InfertilitySucks #Infertility #InfertilityJourney #Exhale #Sigh #TTC

Honesty (adj): free of deceit and untruthfulness; sincere He was raised to spare feelings If the truth will hurt Sugar coat it And hope they get the correct message I was raided that no matter Tell the truth My life experiences taught me Nothing will ever be worth losing me Honest to me first Honest with me first Which will be Honest to them And Honest with them But I am central For him THEY are central And thus the battle begins "I can and will say that because that's exactly what I mean!" "I absolutely feel that way and my feelings are valid!" "No they may not treat me or my husband or my kids that way!" Self-centered? I can see that side. Self-Protective? Absolutely. Self-care? Definitely. I owe it to me. #Honesty #Honest #Communication #Explicit #YouWillKnow #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Talk #IOweItToMe #SelfCare

⚠️ what works for one blended family may not work for another blended family ⚠️ Disengage (v)- to intentionally step back Have I done it yet? No Do I know how to do it? No Do I have the right resource to start? No How will you know if it works? IDK What will you do if it doesn't work? IDK But what I'm currently doing isn't working Can trying something different be worse? Maybe, but I doubt it. I have no answers I have no how to I won't do it "right" But I know something has got to give... ✔️ burned out ✔️ unappreciated ✔️ resentful ✔️ feel like I'm failing everything I show up for my family So I'm committed to: - taking some actions by taking less actions - reflecting on the experience - finding the tasks that I enjoy doing and commit to continue doing those This week, my self-talk will repeat: I am not the default adult who is responsible for raising him/her/them. I am not the default adult who is responsible for disciplining him/her/them. I am not the default adult who is responsible for creating and/or enforcing household rules. I am a role model worthy of my stepchildren’s admiration. I am confident in who I am as a woman, mother, and wife. I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. I am proud of me. #StepMom #Disengage #Disengaging #BlendedFamily #StepFamilyLife #StepFamily #StepMom #BlackStepMom #BlackStepFamilyLife #BlackStepFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #WifeLife #BlackWife #Mom #BlackMom #BonusMom #BlackBonusMom #Remarriage #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #ProtectingMyPeace #BetterForEveryone

Socks... F-ing socks. He likes them clean. I like them matched. And that's the problem... But yet we all know That is not the problem. The socks are not the problem. At. All. The problem... I am on overload. 4 weeks of unmatched socks Are in the living room And not in my sock drawer Rolled together tightly With their mate. And after 4 weeks I said something. Folding is his job. Washing is mine. And of course, I cannot do the socks if I washed them. 💣And I shouldn't have to ask For socks to be folded.💣 #Socks #Mismatch #Mixmatch #Unmatch #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Forever #MatchedSocksAreSelfCare

Finally received those first-day-of-school pics. It’s only a week late but who’s counting 🤷🏾‍♀️ . . . Swipe to see how 𝗕𝗼𝗻𝘂𝘀 𝗠𝗼𝗺 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 be like 🤣 #firstdaypics #sixthgrade #bonusmom #sahm #coparenting #sahmlife #bonusmomlife💕 #blackstayathomemom #stayathomemom #millennialmoms #stayathomemomblog #blackbonusmom #bonuskidnotstepkid #coprentinglife #momjokes #blendedfamilyproblems #durhammomblog #blackmomblog #blackfamilies #thenewestnewkirk

There. It's updated. New facts. There is a personal story wrapped upninneach number. A story that's ending is a miracle. A story that's process is tear filled. As story afraid to get excited, afraid to exhale, afraid to be afraid. #BlackFertility #BlackInfertility #BlackChristianFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackStepMoms #BlackMoms #BlackBonusMom #BlackWife #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #BlackMaternalHealth #BlackHealth #TheBlackExperience #Fertility #FertilityJourney #ChristianFertility #MyGod #BlendedFamily #OursBaby #StepMom #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #Health #TheAmericanExperience #BlackityBlackBlack #Black #InfertilityAwareness #InfertilitySucks #Infertility

#TriggerWarning Trigger the pain. Trigger the disappointment. Trigger all of the emotions because he is proof that the problem resides with you. A tool for manipulation. A tool for crossing boundaries. A tool to deceive the outsiders because a mother would never... And then I remember That I am the adult. The mature one. The rational thinker. He is the child. The innocent one. The one to be protected. And I need to grow the F up. I need to Boss up. I need to be all of the things... And that's why stepmomming is hard. #Parenting #StepMommingAintEasy #BlendedFamily #StepFamilyLife #StepFamily #StepMom #BlackStepMom #BlackStepFamilyLife #BlackStepFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #WifeLife #BlackWife #Mom #BlackMom #BonusMom #BlackBonusMom #Remarriage #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #Emotions #Growth #BossUp #Infertility

If we go out I'm getting ratchet And I'm definitely getting us put out. And he knows it. So... Usually he stays home, Near the car and the phone, So that I can be rescued Before I dig myself an even deeper hole. And that's why we work together. Cus imma turn. it. up. And he's gonna get. us. home. #TurnUp #Ratchet #DD #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Forever #PutOut #LifeOfTheParty

We've been addressing problematic behaviors from day one in our house. It's called parenting. She's been ignoring them And I have my theories of why - parenting consistently is hard - consequences means there is no "babysitter" - the line between parent and friend was blurred in her childhood so she knows no other way to friendparent My favorite theory, though: - what we say is always wrong. But now, She is facing a reality. A reality that we already came to grips with; His age appropriate behaviors need consequences. And some of his "age appropriate behaviors" are not exactly age appropriate. #Parenting #Consequences #BlendedFamily #StepFamilyLife #StepFamily #StepMom #BlackStepMom #BlackStepFamilyLife #BlackStepFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #WifeLife #BlackWife #Mom #BlackMom #BonusMom #BlackBonusMom #Remarriage #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #ParentsNotFriends #Lies #Discipline #Boundaries #Reality #RealityCheck

Every early bird is inevitably married to a night owl. So we have an understanding... If you want me there make sure it starts by 2pm. And if he wants to be a host just know I'm still going to bed on time. #BedTime #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Forever #Silence #Introvert #Ennegram5 #8pm #8hours #SelfCare #SelfCareIsntSelfish

Reposted from @confesssionsofastepmom Thanks for fixing it! #ThankYou #YouDeserveItAll #BlackStepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackWife #BlackMom #BlackFamily #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackBlendedFamily #StepMom #BonusMom #MomLife #WifeLife #BlendedFamilyLife #BlendedFamily #FamilyLife #Mom #Boundaries #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #Remarriage #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #Parenting #TisTheSeason

All I want for Christmas... Is To. Be. Left. Alone. Don't get me wrong, I love my family. Like I Love Love them. But I also really love being alone. I really like silence. I really like getting wrapped up in my mind. I really like my space; it is sacred. The problem isn't my family. My husband and kids. My parents and siblings. My aunts, uncles and cousins. They get me. They know, holiday brunch, 2 hour time limit, then back home she goes. But if we do something with my family we have to do something with his family. So now we have our family tradition, my family tradition, his family tradition... And a kid we only have for 12 hours. #ThatPart And it's not that I don't like them. They are great. Genuinely great. They just aren't mine. They just don't understand my need for isolation. And honestly, the problem isn't them either. The problem is I just have this need that has been counter to American society all my life. So I've learned a coping strategy, TIME LIMITS. But my coping strategy isn't working in my new context. So I need a new coping strategy... Any other introverts or Ennegram 5 people struggling this (and every) holiday season??? #HappyHolidays #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Forever #Silence #Introvert #Ennegram5 #SacredSpace #FamilyTraditions #StruggleBus

Being a mother of a big blended family it is hard to date and have time alone, but last night we had a great time ! Tip to my bonus mamas, always be a unit, find time to date (it’s hard but slide you something in your schedule) , and protect your marriage by any means necessary. #blendedfamily #bonusmom #tipformoms #stepmother #datenight #blackbonusmom

Temper Tantrums A toddler, I could understand. Even preschool/early elementary. But at 11. 5th grade. Because you don't like the task I asked you to do? And because you know accountability and follow through lack everywhere else. Not with me buddy. Not today. So... When you are ready to engage in a conversation with me without yelling, crying and pouting I'll be right here. Until then NOTHING ELSE WILL HAPPEN. PS- that shit that I asked you to do will still be there waiting for you to finish after our emotionally regulated conversation. PSS- I'm old school, when an adult asks you to do something the only appropriate response is "yes" "ok" or just do it. I was just asking you to wash your football gear for equipment turn in tomorrow. PSSS- Yelling at ME will NEVER be appropriate. Not in MY house. Not in YOUR house. Not on this planet. Matter of fact, if another planet becomes inhabitable yelling at ME still will not be acceptable. #TemperTantrum #NeverAppropriate #BlendedFamily #StepFamilyLife #StepFamily #StepMom #BlackStepMom #BlackStepFamilyLife #BlackStepFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #WifeLife #BlackWife #Mom #BlackMom #BonusMom #BlackBonusMom #Remarriage #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #Human #Manners #Respect #JustDoIt

Dinner... ugh! After working all day Can't we just eat cereal? If I buy the milk with an added gram of protein does that make it nutritious? What if I make them eat a fruit too? Cereals better than pop tarts, right? We both are in leadership. Work for us is exhausting mentally, physically and emotionally. We get no breaks, no lunch break, no smoke break, no bathroom break. So coming home to do more work is the last thing we want to do... Meal prep they say. Meal plan they say. Divvy up the days they say. And we do.... And we still end up here by Thursday. #WhatsForDinner #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Forever #Imbalance #Balance #PopTarts #5050 #MealPlan #MealPrep #DinnerTime

Tis the season.... to barf! Halloween is the start of it. Actually, if we're honest School is the start of it. The schedules, The holidays, The exchanges just to exchange again and then a third time, in one week. And the closer we get to winter, The more my emotional state comes into question. I need to make a commitment to do something different this year. But honestly, even thinking about changing something sounds exhausting. But doing what I did last year also sounds exhausting. I know this is where Stepping back, Disengaging Come into play. Pray for me. Really, pray for them. Cus I. Ain't. Doin. It. this year. #ThisStepMomIsOverIt #No #Disengage #Boundaries #StepMommaDrama #IAintTheOne #BlackStepMom #BlackWife #BlackMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackFamily #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackBlendedFamily #BlendedFamilyLife #BlendedFamily #StepMom #FamilyLife #WifeLife #Mom #BonusMom #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #Remarriage #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #Parenting #TisTheSeason

.5% - 99.5% Imbalance of inputs. Is often used and interpreted to fit a variety of circumstances I don't believe it's about finding the person who has 80 percent of what you want/need. I believe it's about finding the person who balances your imbalance of input. Right now my input is less than 1% and he makes up the other 99%. And my hope is that... Actually, I know that... One day the imbalance will be switched. And right now that's about all I can hold on to. This won't be our forever. #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #FertilityJourney #OursBaby #Grief #DisenfranchizedGrief #Forever #Imbalance #Balance #8020rule #5050

I admit... I forgot to pick up the little. Let me reword that... I didn't know I was expected to pick up the little. So I didn't forget. I didn't know. But his cousin was there And he got a ride To HER house. And of course, Common decency isn't common. She didn't let us know she had him. And she wanted all the praise because she "saved him"; She "was a hero". And I was a few choice other words. Because I dropped him off so I should have picked him up. Because since I've been in the picture my husband has been uncompromising. Because I am the reason things aren't getting better. IRL- we have boundaries because #Narcissism. we say no because #ParallelParenting. we have tried but #ThisStepMomCanOnlyTakeSoMuch. #BlendedFamily #StepFamilyLife #StepFamily #StepMom #BlackStepMom #BlackStepFamilyLife #BlackStepFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #Boundaries #CoParenting #WifeLife #BlackWife #Mom #BlackMom #BonusMom #BlackBonusMom #Remarriage #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #Hero #NarcissisticParent

Hard. No more words. Just hard. #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #FertilityJourney #OurMarriageJourney #OursBaby #Grief #DisenfranchizedGrief #Hard

I can hear my mom's voice in my head "You better speak to every one when we arrive and when we leave" Acknowledgement. Something so little is actually so big. Two Letters. Hi. My human existence is seen. My presence is validated. Most importantly, My invisibility is challenged. And I desperately need it to be challenged. #Hi #Invisible #Basic #BlendedFamily #StepFamilyLife #StepFamily #StepMom #BlackStepMom #BlackStepFamilyLife #BlackStepFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #WifeLife #BlackWife #Mom #BlackMom #BonusMom #BlackBonusMom #Remarriage #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #Human #Manners

Sigh. Exhale. Discharge. To Let Out. Someone sighed today, they did it unknowingly. I heard it loud and clear. They could sigh because they could release. I know my sigh will come. One day. #BlackFertility #BlackInfertility #BlackChristianFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackStepMoms #BlackMoms #BlackBonusMom #BlackWife #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #BlackMaternalHealth #BlackHealth #TheBlackExperience #Fertility #FertilityJourney #ChristianFertility #Doctor #BlendedFamily #OursBaby #StepMom #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #InfertilityAwareness #InfertilitySucks #Infertility #InfertilityJourney #Exhale #Sigh #TTC

Holding. Our. Breath. We are at a space between answered prayers. We know there is more to come. He remains positive. I am leaning on his worship to make it through. And it feels like everyone else can tell. And of course, this weak moment she sees as her entryway... For those needing a moment to be human in their marriage and in their blended family, I'm right there with you. But remember humans must exhale so they can inhale again. My only goal is making it to bed each day and my god kindly told me, "Eventually that won't be enough but for now, it's enough." #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #FertilityJourney #OurMarriageJourney #OursBaby #BorrowedWorship #FaithHopeLove #Exhale

StepMomming really isn't for the faint of heart. I post a lot about grief and infertility. But there is grief in stepmomming too. Even if you knew what you were getting into, (and let me be VERY clear, most of us knew a fraction of what we were getting into) it still never goes as you hoped and dreamed for it to go. And in that space, of things not going as planned, lies a lot of grief because a lot of dreams will not be. Can not be. Should not be. My journal reads like this more days than I want it to. And if you are in this season of more suck than success know you are not alone. But know that you have what it takes. Know that if your relationship with your spouse is what you want then we will make it to the next season. #MoreSuckThanSuccess #Grief #UnmetExpectations #Dreams #Hopes #Success #ThisSucks #BlendedFamily #StepFamilyLife #StepFamily #StepMom #BlackStepMom #BlackStepFamilyLife #BlackStepFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #ParallelParenting #CoParenting #WifeLife #BlackWife #Mom #BlackMom #BonusMom #BlackBonusMom #Remarriage #BlackChristianFamily #BlackParenting #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily

Let the show down begin! Recently our communication has been strained at best. On our worst day it's a knock down drag out. And its probably a lot on me.... The disrespect has really been getting to me. The walking on egg shells has really been getting to me. The lack of regard has really been getting to me. And I have lost it more times than I'd like to admit. Over statements that I once could blow off. I'm feeling some disengagement coming on. In fact, I started last night. The lunch didn't get packed, the alarm wasn't set, and no one got up this morning (except me). And I worked out in selective bliss. Cus that ain't my circus.- IYKYK And it felt good! So I think I'll continue. #Disengage #Boundaries #SelfCare #MyMentalHealthMattersToo #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Communication #OverIt #Disengagement

Communication in marriage 🤦🏽‍♀️ Either you are finishing each other's sentences or you are finished with each other. There is no in between. I'm explicit. Upfront. Clear, concise. I state what's missing or needed directly. Perfect way to communicate with 11-13 year olds. He's implicit. He sandwiches his request in the middle of a compliment. Perfect way to communicate as a business leader in the business world. Notice how our careers impact our relationship. I lead a middle school. He leads a nursing home. I'm fire. He's wind. So our arguments are fun. I get frustrated that his needs aren't expressed directly. He gets frustrated that my needs are expressed so directly. #Explicit #Clear #Communication #CommunicationSkills #Argument #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Talk #Compromise

Qualify to have a child.... I thought the government already did that a few weeks ago. Oh, you have you own qualifications for those who need help having kids? Cool. Cool. I'll gladly submit to the process just because you seem to think it's appropriate. I'm so glad this process and system has been so easy to navigate. It's not like I'm grieving every month. On top of broken dreams and broken hearts we do not need a broken medical system. Yet here we are. One day I will speak loud and clear for those who are unable to speak because they simply only have enough energy to deal with all the brokenness. #BlackFertility #BlackInfertility #BlackChristianFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackStepMoms #BlackMoms #BlackBonusMom #BlackWife #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #BlackMaternalHealth #BlackHealth #TheBlackExperience #Fertility #FertilityJourney #ChristianFertility #Doctor #BlendedFamily #OursBaby #StepMom #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #Health #Healthcare #Insurnace #MedicalDoctor #InfertilityAwareness #InfertilitySucks #Infertility

I am Keeper of everyone's shit together-er The husband The youngin The dog But not mine... Summer has been busy. Fall will stay busy. And I lost my shit yesterday. But, honestly, the house needed it. I needed it. And today we came back together and restrategized. Stay tuned for the results. #LittleMiss #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #Black2ndMarriage #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackWifeLife #BlackWife #WifeLife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Love #LostMyShit #Busy

No response. Not even a huh. Honestly I'd be mad about the "huh?" But at least my directive would be semi acknowledged. And this is very much typical child behavior. Not listening. Not responding. Not doing. But this week I've had it with having to call his dad to get him to do simple tasks: turn the alarm on, eat breakfast, take out the overflowing trash.... Calling for back up is getting quite old! And as soon as he adjusts to our expectations, it's Transition Day again 🤦🏽‍♀️ #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackFamilyLife #BlackStepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackParents #BlendedFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #FamilyLife #StepMom #BonusMom #BlackMom #BlackWife #WifeLife #ParallelParenting #Coparent #WeDontCoparent #DoYouUnderstandTheWordsThatAreCominOutOfMyMouth #Listen #BackUp #JustDoIt

I am this close... To losing my shit. And then I quickly remember that they hold the power. Wait a year. Wait for the scheduler to call you. Wait on these test results first. Oh wait, you didn't get all the right labs. Wait for the referral to be made. Wait on the new med center to call. Wait on that doctor to have an opening. Wait, can you see our intern instead? I can't help but wonder if I was a white female with a white male partner would this game play out the same way? #BlackFertility #BlackInfertility #BlackChristianFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackStepMoms #BlackMoms #BlackBonusMom #BlackWife #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #BlackMaternalHealth #BlackHealth #TheBlackExperience #Fertility #FertilityJourney #ChristianFertility #Doctor #BlendedFamily #OursBaby #StepMom #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #Health #Healthcare #Insurnace #MedicalDoctor #InfertilityAwareness #InfertilitySucks #Infertility

Our Core Values: Gratefulness Honesty Love Our expectations/rules Of the house Of each other Of ourselves Directly correlate with our family's core values. All decisions, choices and actions exemplify our values. Because we are grateful we..... Because we are honest we..... Because we are loving we.... Deciding these together has made all the difference.... In how we interact with each other. In how we operate when alone. In how we raise the little. In how we will raise the future littles. #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #BlackRemarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #BlackParenting #BlackParents #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Love #CoreValues #RaisingKids #BeAGoodHuman

I constantly come back here..... Black Female Health So many things on my mind... Roe V. Wade continues to be on the forefront. You can't tell me it doesn't impact EVERYONE. If black women struggle already in the American health care system we will damn sure struggle when it comes to the potential to needing a medical abortion to save our lives. Or maybe after 10,000 dollars to get pregnant I can't afford mentally or financially to see my child suffer from a condition that we knew they had from prenatal testing. Or maybe I just need to feel like I have options. Our pain is minimized, our cries and our rage are silenced, our emotions aren't allowed. Even those of us trying to have kids will face serious ramifications from SCOTUS's decision. #BlackFertility #BlackInfertility #BlackChristianFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackStepMoms #BlackMoms #BlackBonusMom #BlackWife #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #BlackMaternalHealth #BlackHealth #TheBlackExperience #Fertility #FertilityJourney #ChristianFertility #MyGod #BlendedFamily #OursBaby #StepMom #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #Health #TheAmericanExperience #BlackityBlackBlack #Black #InfertilityAwareness #InfertilitySucks #Infertility

Silence is not my strength. But I'm slowly learning that somethings are better left I unsaid. I'm also learning that he (my husband) probably already knows. But when it comes to her, I've kept my mouth shut through too much it feels like. But when I step out of the drama I know the little deserves for me to show restraint. Even when I have every right to say something. But it is a struggle. Do I say something and release the resentment (or possible resentment)? Do I keep quiet and buy time because time will probably resolve most of it? Do I find a better opportunity to address all parties when emotions aren't high? Do my emotions deserve a seat at the table this time due to the nature or severity of the offense? #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackFamilyLife #BlackStepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlendedFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #FamilyLife #StepMom #BonusMom #BlackMom #BlackWife #WifeLife #ParallelParenting #Boundaries #Silence #Questions #TellEm #Learning #Growth

Cus "if it ain't in writing it didn't happen." I'm not saying I don't trust her but..... make sure it's in writing With a timestamp In a non editable format Cus it's not for if we go back to court It's for when we go back to court. #BlendedFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #StepMom #BonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackBonusMom #2ndMarriage #Remarriage #ModernFamily #ModernParenting #BlackWife #WifeLife #MomLife #BlackMoms #BlackRemarriage #BlackParents #BlackMarriage #Boundaries #InWriting #Proof #Court #TakeMeBack #CantDenyIt

Here we are again. The monthly reminder. The ever present reality. This weekend I will be at a wedding celebrating love and the beginning of someone else's family while anxiously fearing the inevitable, my period. As I've posted about on many occasions grief and celebration must co-exist. My grief keeps me humble, my celebration keeps me moving. My tears keep me feeling, my laughter keeps me present. My longing keeps me trying, my glee keeps me grateful. See my grief must co-exist with celebration not because every opposite must have its partner but because My God works in both at the same time. #BlackFertility #BlackInfertility #BlackChristianFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #BlackStepMoms #BlackMoms #BlackBonusMom #BlackWife #BlackLove #BlackMarriage #BlackMaternalHealth #BlackHealth #TheBlackExperience #Fertility #FertilityJourney #ChristianFertility #MyGod #BlendedFamily #OursBaby #StepMom #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #Health #TheAmericanExperience #BlackityBlackBlack #Black #InfertilityAwareness #InfertilitySucks #Infertility

Me. I am said step mom. And that is my kitchen, with my dishes still in the sink. 🤯😡😤🤬 While this might be normal only kid shit. My mind takes me down a different route where I get the message loud and clear that I'm still the outsider. I want to be petty. I want to stop doing for everyone. But I put my big girl panties on and yell at him for not finishing his chores. And luckily his dad joins my team too. And while he fully believes this is typical only child shit he refuses for that to be the excuse that allows the behavior continue. #BlendedFamily #BlackBlendedFamily #StepMom #BonusMom #BlackStepMom #BlackBonusMom #2ndMarriage #Remarriage #ModernFamily #ModernParenting #BlackWife #WifeLife #MomLife #BlackMoms #BlackRemarriage #BlackParents #OnlyChild #PettyBetty #PettyParenting #PettyMom #Petty

We have it all wrong... waste my time, please, waste it.... To my husband, let's waste time together and get lost in the experience. To my bonus child, let's waste time together and build memories for a lifetime. To my mom, let's waste time together so I can become more like you with each passing day. To my BFFs (or anyone I call a friend), let's waste time together, grow old together, and share the same room/floor in the nursing home. To any one I consider family (friends and family), let's waste time together creating new memories while reminiscing on the old ones. To my waiter/waitress, be slow so I can waste more time with those that I'm breaking bread with. To my church, let's waste time in the presence of the Almighty One forever. So, yes, my time can be wasted, and I don't think that's such a bad thing. Wasting time is ny favorite thing to do. #Marriage #Remarriage #2ndMarriage #BlackMarriage #WifeLife #BlackWife #BlendedFamily #BlackFamily #ModernParenting #ModernFamily #BonusMom #StepMom #BlackBonusMom #BlackStepMom #ChristianMarriage #BlackChristianMarriage #BlackLove #Love #WastingTimeTogether #WastingTime #Wasted

Do you mother like you were mothered?! In some areas I do... here is one, nice notes to send them off for the first day of school. #firstdayofschool #bonuschildren #bonusdaughter #bonusmom #stepmom #mother #wife #blackbonusmom #blackstepmom #firstdayhacks

Black Bonus Mom Joy! Deborah is one of my most favorite people. EVER. Before I get into what brings Deborah Joy!, let me tell you about the Joy! she's brought into my life. She came into our lives when I was 14. She's a strong, gracious, classy, protective, fabulous dresser with a brilliant mind. She's 100% genuine and a blessing to our family. Deborah finds Joy! in flower arranging, reading, interior designing and decorating. She loves spending time with her friends and family. Deborah gets great Joy! in researching alternatives to western medicine. She basically cured deafness in one of her ears through Eastern/alternative ways. She also finds joy in anything HGTV! @dmrkk1 #blackjoy #blackart #blackjoymatters #blacklove #blackhealth #blackcreatives #clicksbycourtney #dcartists #dopeblackart #womanartist #blackartists #creative #photography #portraiture #dmvlife #dcphotographer #blackartist #photography #blackhistorymonth #blackbusinesses #blackstepmoms #bonusmom #blackbonusmom #blackfamily

My family is my life, and everything else comes second as far as what's important to me. See this is the part of parenting we don’t see a lot of! If you slide through the pics you see that I was clearly working this morning after having a long night comforting my bonus son! Bright and early here comes baby bear screaming bc he had a bad dream! Literally sleep walking to me screaming and crying all while I’m on a zoom conference call, charting, and looking up invoices! This is what @career_driven_mom_network often speaks about! And yes I’m in my bonnet and robe cause I been up since 6 working! But when it comes to my husband and kids everything is second to them! Baby bear went to sleep in my arms! I continued working and put him in my bed never missing a beat on my Zoom call 🤘🏾🤘🏾💪🏾! Right when the devil placed a little bit of self doubt in my mind about @blendedthecolemanway DJ reminded me of its purpose! #blackmoms #blackgirlmagic #momlife #melanin #blendedblackfamily #blackbonusmom #stepmomlife #careermom #blackmomsblog #babies #blackmomsbelike #motherhood #blackmomskillingit #moms #blacklove #blackmothers #blackdads #melaninbabies #mommyandme #blackfamily #blackgirlsrock #love #parenting #family #brownskingirl #blackexcellence #blackmotherhood #blessed #kids #momblogger

Come meet Nicole and her imagination! Book available for purchase in our holiday gift guide (link in bio) #blendedfamily #blendedandblack #bonusmom #blackandblended #blackauthorsmatter #blackbonusmom #blackfemaleauthor #stepfamilies #stepparents #blendedmarriage #childrensauthor #author #readingisfundamental #childrensbooks

Being a bonus mom is more than a notion, it is never easy transitioning into that role and further more into being a blended family, however taking on this role has been one of the greatest, fun and growing periods of my life in fact it has gave me a little more respect for parenthood. I'm enjoying this blended family thing it has been a joy to have this kid in my life. Thanx @dapper_tim for sharing your amazing kid with me #blendedfamilies #bonusmomlife #blackblendedfamiliesarebeautiful #blackblendedfamilies #blackbonusmom

Brushing up on my skills...it’s been awhile! Our two oldest beautiful daughters...they melt my heart 💜🥰

Fantastic F O U R. . . . . . #bonusbabies #bonusmom #boymom #girlmom #mommyoftwoplustwo #pagefamily #pagechildren #3girls1boy #blackandwhite #leahraephotography #blackbonusmom #blackgirlmagic #blackboyjoy