My first official #HappyHour portrait is unveiled, painted by #JonathanYeo. Immortalizing the #happy in hour! #🍸 #👑 #🖼️ #floridaneverdisappoints
Is that the present you like best? #🎁 I #love this #book as much as I loathe Christina! #Thankyou #📚 #floridaneverdisappoints #mommiedearest #joancrawford #fayedunaway
Some call it #Florida. I call it #heaven. #floridaneverdisappoints
The #Dolly Dazzler Donut with crunchy #glitter & a #🦋 is serving pure unadulterated #Jolene energy. Oink, oink bishes. #🐽 #✨ #🍩 #floridaneverdisappoints #DollyParton
#HappyMothersDay to all Moms, Grandmas, Step Moms, Foster Moms, Moms in Heaven, Future Moms, Mr. Moms, Bereaved Moms & Mom Figures, but not you, darling Christina… Now, disappear. #🤰 #❤️ #floridaneverdisappoints
See that house pickled #carrot? It’s a #salad. #HealthAndFitnessIsMyPassion #🥕 #🍸 #floridaneverdisappoints
I #❤️ @thestormydaniels. She is savvy as hell & she won’t be bullied or defined. #MakeAmericaHornyAgain! #🧢 #🇺🇸 #stormydaniels #floridaneverdisappoints
#Credo, bishes. #🤠 #floridaneverdisappoints
#Happy #CincoDeMayo to all the white people who will be calling in sick with me on Seis de Mayo! #🇲🇽 #floridaneverdisappoints
Happy #DerbyDay! I identify as a #unicorn. #🐎 #🦄 #KentuckyDerby #floridaneverdisappoints
Happy #StarWarsDay! #MayTheFourth of my backhand forever be with you Christina darling. #🫱 #MommieDearest #joancrawford #MayTheFourthBeWithYou #floridaneverdisappoints
Out here just trying to live my best #Florida life. #🐊 #🍸 #floridaneverdisappoints
As @koe_wetzel says- “April showers bring May flowers” Time to start || B L O S S O M I N G || babes!! ✌🏼 . . Xox KH ✌🏼 #avedaartisteducation #aveda #avedaartist #koewetzel #southernstyle #mayinspiration #floridaliving #floridaneverdisappoints #floridastylist #floridastyleblogger @be_aveda @avedainstituteftm @aveda
#❤️ #LoveWins #floridaneverdisappoints
#Honk #🙋🏻♂️ “You’re a fraud, Helen! You’re a walking lie & I can see right THROUGH YOU!” #🕳️ #deathbecomesher #floridaneverdisappoints
Cheers to America’s original #SexKitten #AnnMargret! She’s 85 today! #Meow bishes! #😻 *volume on #floridaneverdisappoints @officialannmargret #catsofinstagram
#❤️ #Florida #Affirmations #Namaste #floridaneverdisappoints
Cheers to my #Facial #Caesarean #Scar! Putting the #art in #PostPartum #depression & the #happy back in #HappyHour! #🍸 #floridaneverdisappoints
#Same #🕳️ #⛳️ #floridaneverdisappoints
< S U N S E T > melt everything away. . . Xox KH ✌🏼 #jeepgladiator #jeeplife #sunsetphotography #floridabeaches #floridaneverdisappoints
This is the sign I’ve been waiting for. #🌽🐩 #Thankful #floridaneverdisappoints
#ThankYou for the most beautiful #party for my #cyst, Tyrone. The love I have for Tyrone lives on in my heart. I think of him with every breath I take & every beat of my heart. His spirit remains in my soul forever, impervious to death. His beautiful memory lights my way in the darkness of grief. #❤️ #⚰️ #🎂 #floridaneverdisappoints
#❤️ Everyone should start their #Saturday with a lady yelling, “Who wants to try Dee’s Nuts?” #🥜 #nature #naturephotography #FloridaWildlife #floridaneverdisappoints
Recharging my #sparkle & maybe, just maybe, it’s a little too bright for you. #✨ #🦄 #🌈 #TreatYourself #floridaneverdisappoints
#LikeFatherLikeSon, betches! #itllleaveyoubreathlessorwithanastyscar #❤️ #🔪 #floridaneverdisappoints #Chucky
Happy #TaxDay! #🇺🇸 #floridaneverdisappoints
The #EarlyBird catches the breathtaking #sunrise at the #beach. #nature #naturephotography #floridaneverdisappoints
#FlashbackFriday… Back to my #CowboyCarter days. #🤠 #floridaneverdisappoints
All aboard the #Blackout #Train! #🌙🥧 #🍸 #SolarEclipse2024 #eclipse #floridaneverdisappoints
Happy #Eclipse Eve to all who #celebrate! #moonpie #🌙🥧 #🕶️ #floridaneverdisappoints
#Eclipse prep, betches! #🕶️ #bonnietyler #totaleclipseoftheheart #floridaneverdisappoints
#Gourmet #Paradise. #ClayCountyFair betches! #corndogsofinstagram #🌽🐩 #floridaneverdisappoints
My #EmotionalSupportAnimal. #🐩 #springbreak #dogsofinstagram #floridaneverdisappoints
Happy #AprilFools to everyone, but Christina! #❤️ #🎁 #🤡 #floridaneverdisappoints #joancrawford #mommiedearest
#HappyEaster! #🍫🐇 #🍪 #floridaneverdisappoints
May your #EasterBasket be full of #Family, #Friends, #Xanax & #Booze! Today & Always! #Happy #EasterWeekend! #floridaneverdisappoints #parenting #kids #myheart #peeps #springbreak
RIP J. #GoneTooSoon. #💔 #🕊️ #👼 #floridaneverdisappoints See ya’ #Sunday J-man.
Happy #GoodFriday to everyone, except Christina! #🙏 #floridaneverdisappoints #joancrawford #mommiedearest
Some #bunny needed a #drank! Putting the #hoppy in #Easter #HoppyHour. #🐇🍸 #floridaneverdisappoints
A friendly reminder to close your #blinds… #Florida #VenetianBlinds #floridaneverdisappoints
No #coffee for me thanks to Cassandra! #🚫☕️ #floridaneverdisappoints
Hey, it’s #Friday & the 1st #weekend of #Spring! Pop on that #EthelMerman #Disco #Album! #🪩 #🕺 #🌹 #🍸 #floridaneverdisappoints
#TreatYoselfThursday! The perfect #snack between #work & #drunk! #🦞 #🍸 #floridaneverdisappoints
#Florida #landscapes have a #language of their own. #SpringBreak #nature #naturephotography #floridaneverdisappoints
#❤️ #RelationshipStatus #🐓 #floridaneverdisappoints
Happy #StPatricksDay to everyone, but #KateMiddleton & Christina! *volume on #🍀 #🌈 #floridaneverdisappoints
#Shamrocks & #Shenanigans for all! A little #StPatricksEve #drinky #drink. #🍀 #🌈 #🍸 #floridaneverdisappoints
#Spring #floridaneverdisappoints
Raindrops on roses & whiskers on kittens… #🍸 #💭 #🪩 #floridaneverdisappoints
#Happy #IdesOfMarch! “I’m here for a #GoodTime not a #LongTime!”— #JuliusCaesar #🔪 #floridaneverdisappoints
#Happy #NationalPiDay to everyone, but Christina! #🥧 #floridaneverdisappoints #joancrawford #mommiedearest #mildredpierce
You’ve never vended until you’ve #Florida vended. #SpringBreak #FloridaVending #floridaneverdisappoints
#Celebrating the #ShamrockShake: A #magical nectar that turns a hangover into ‘Good morning universe!’ #🍀 #💚 #🌈 #floridaneverdisappoints
Yay! A #DaylightSavings #martini! #🍸 #☀️ #Itsbeen84years! #IllNeverLetGoJack #blessed #thankful #floridaneverdisappoints
Happy #DaylightSavings to Christina & to all who #celebrate! #☀️ #⏰ #SpringForward #joancrawford #mommiedearest #floridaneverdisappoints
#LawdHaveMercy! It’s only called #FloridaBrunch if it’s from the #Florida region of the #UnitedStates, otherwise it’s just #ChickenWings on a #SanitaryNapkin with #Ranch. #🥂 #floridaneverdisappoints EVER! #womenshistorymonth
#Happy #InternationalWomensDay! #❤️ #floridaneverdisappoints #mommiedearest #joancrawford
#Namaste #LoveWins #LoveIsLove #❤️ #floridaneverdisappoints
Sometimes when I need a #miracle, I look into my son’s eyes, and realize I’ve already created one. #Happy #NationalSonsDay, a day late because #vodka. #floridaneverdisappoints
#Happy #WomensHistoryMonth from #Florida! #Feminism is for #Everybody. #I❤️History #floridaneverdisappoints
#Happy #WomensHistoryMonth! #Feminism is for everybody. #I❤️History #floridaneverdisappoints
Because it’s #March 1st & I’m feeling #MagicallyDelicious betches. #🍀 #🌈 #floridaneverdisappoints #luckycharms
#Happy #LeapDay betches! #🐸 #mommiedearest #joancrawford #floridaneverdisappoints
Can we stop & get some #ABBA? We have ABBA at home. 💁🏻♂️The ABBA. #FloridaABBA #🪩 #floridaneverdisappoints
Just wanted to remind you, that I didn’t give up #Nacho #Volcanoes for #lent. #🌋 #floridaneverdisappoints
In #Florida your #glasses get bigger & your #speedo gets smaller. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. #👓 #🩲 #🐊 #SwiftyLazar #floridaneverdisappoints
#JesusTakeTheWheel #GoodLuck #🙏 #🐽 #🍰 #🥧 #🍩 #floridaneverdisappoints #📚
#Florida #VanityPlate. #🪪 #🙏 #floridaneverdisappoints
#Happy #PresidentsDay to everyone, except Christina! #🇺🇸 #floridaneverdisappoints #joancrawford #mommiedearest
#💊 #🍸 My #Saturday. Revisiting a fave where I learned everything I know about life, way too young & to take #pills with #vodka. #📖 #📚 #SparkleNeelySparkle #✨ #floridaneverdisappoints
The most restraint I ever show is when I let #cookie dough turn into #cookies. #💘 #🍪 #floridaneverdisappoints