Last year, Ben's friend called and invited him out for a night of bowling.
Ben, not a fan of bowling alleys (lights and noise), politely said "No thank you" and then hung up.
“Oh no,” I thought. The family might think Ben rude and never invite him out again.
Driven by my own fear, I called the child’s mother and told her a “little white lie”:Ben would love to join you, but we have plans this evening.”
As soon as I hung up, Ben looked at me and said:
“You did not have to tell her all that. You could have just told her the truth.”
OUCH.
He was 100% right.
I did this a lot when it came to Ben.
I sugarcoated our reality with half-truths and fake smiles because I feared other people could not handle the truth.
So I would say things like "everything's fine" and "we are doing well", while silently resenting them for not understanding our struggles.
Well, these lies created more isolation for me AND resulted in me being called out by my 15-year-old son, who cannot lie!
Ironic, right?
After getting busted, I made a conscious effort to be real with the people who mattered to us.
The results were mixed.
While some conversations turned awkward and included tone-deaf comments, the overwhelming response was positive.
That is because most of the people I chose to be vulnerable with wanted to know, wanted to understand, and wanted to support us.
A very pleasant surprise!
Do you ever find yourself little white lying to avoid awkward conversations, judgment or rejection?
If so, let's talk about it.
As an autism mom, I understand the loneliness of being surrounded by friends and family who don't get it.
That's why I am inviting you to schedule a complimentary consultation call with someone who gets it!
You will have a safe space to share your story and learn how my coaching program can kick-start your confidence, help you communicate your needs effectively, set boundaries, and build a strong support system.
You will leave the call feeling more seen and confident than you ever have as an Autism Mom.
Schedule your call now.
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